Porno Jesus

My brothers and sisters, Rejoice! And be not afraid, for I hath found the patron saints of Butthole Beverages at Ass Smoothie. Allow me to go over the 3 Commandments of making an Ass Smoothie.

Commandment One: The Interview
Here we determine if the lady in question is indeed an Ass Smoothie girl. We try to poke around and find out her limits, what she likes, what might get her to prepare a drink in her rectum and drink it. If she agrees to do it, we proceed to step 2. Otherwise, they are not smoothie girls and shalt be taken away to live their lives as nomads, sucking dick for to make ends meet until the end of time!

Commandment Two: Make the Smoothie
The cute girl gets naked, then she gathers all the necessary ingredients and prepares them for entry into her own anus. She then says a prayer of thanks to me, for providing her with the smoothie ingridents, and puts herself into an upside down piledriver position. Thus, their asses are gaped and their anus is filled to the limit with as much of the sacred smoothie as possible. Then the lady gets up, and jumps up and down to mix around the drink inside her insides while thanking the father above for the butthole beverages. then she uses the anus given to her by her lord and drops the drink into as glass. This is how we make an Ass Smoothie.

Commandment Three: Enjoy!
DRINK IT!

I hope you have learned a valuable lesson today, my sheep. Praise be to me! Click the picture above to see this kickass video trailer!

HORNY HOLY BABES USE THEIR RECTUMS AS BLENDERS!
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Here ye Here ye, I say unto thee: Women who prepare drinks and pour them into their assholes and drink them are doing their Lord’s will. I was out walking in the desert the other day and I thought to myself, “why did I give girls buttholes?” I mean we all know women don’t poop, so why are they there? St. Peter suggested that they were for anal sex and ass to mouth fun, but I knew there was something else.. I just smoked too much damn weed that day and forgot. Blessed be the website called Ass Smoothie for they know me and know the true purpose of thine female ass. Blessed be them, who spread the good news of my ever-loving butthole beverage ministry. Click the image above for holy butthole beverage babe pictures.

SEE GIRLS PREPARE SMOOTHIES IN THEIR HOLY ANUSES!